NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:05 am

Image



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by QuackAttackAggie » September 28th, 2013, 12:06 am

[youtube][/youtube]
[youtube][/youtube]
[youtube][/youtube]
[youtube][/youtube]


Awful lotta cattle in that last video



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by hipsterdoofus21 » September 28th, 2013, 12:09 am

I heard Hadley and Hoffman know how to jimmer.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:12 am

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:13 am

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:13 am

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:14 am

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:15 am

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:15 am

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:17 am

[youtube][/youtube]



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by treesap32 » September 28th, 2013, 12:18 am

[youtube][/youtube]



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by QuackAttackAggie » September 28th, 2013, 12:19 am

treesap32 wrote:[youtube][/youtube]



I played blackjack with his ex-girlfriend on a cruise. she didn't have any nice things to say about him. ex girlfriends rarely do, but she hated his guts.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by QuackAttackAggie » September 28th, 2013, 12:24 am

Image


then there is this (from byu jc)
Image

and what the girl was wearing that was so disgustingly slutty

Image



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by hipsterdoofus21 » September 28th, 2013, 12:29 am

treesap32 wrote:Image
Dear diary,
There I was, front row, wearing my trusty old #10 jersey. Then suddenly, right after Jackson Emery made one of those three points basket shots, out of nowhere Jeremy starts humping me from behind!! No joke!
At first I was thinking, "Hey Jeremy, do you want to get us kicked out of school?", but then I just didn't want it to end.
We definitely will be having a DTR tomorrow. Love finds a way.
Until tomorrow's entry, ta ta for now,
Lane



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by TheAKAggie » September 28th, 2013, 1:02 am

UtesAggs>BYU wrote:Bronco the Artist...

Dayan Lake ‏@still_flexin6 6 Sep

The picture I got in the mail that coach Mendenhall drew for me. Its how I'm gonna look in the BYU…

No sharpie on his arm?


Hail Aggies!

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by glendayle » September 28th, 2013, 1:08 am

hipsterdoofus21 wrote:Q: What did Spencer Hadley say to the stripper?

A: For the answer we turn to our special guest tonight, BYU legend, Max Hall...

[youtube][/youtube]
He's saying "Luck....E"



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by hipsterdoofus21 » September 28th, 2013, 1:25 am

How many byu players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
0, they prefer to screw in Vegas.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by Same as Cache » September 28th, 2013, 1:53 am

A USU alum is sitting in front of a byu alum at a football game.
An exciting play happens in Utah State's favor and the USU fan jumps to his feet and cheers his team on loudly.
The byu fan then can't see, and says to the USU fan in from of him, "Hey, sit down! You're blocking my vision!"
To which the USU fan turned around and apologized, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were having a vision."
Last edited by Same as Cache on September 28th, 2013, 1:53 am, edited 1 time in total.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by glendayle » September 28th, 2013, 1:53 am

How are BYU coeds and scooters alike?








They're both fun to ride 'til your seen on one.



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Stuff BYU People Like: A Guide to Zoobie Life

Post by frogman812 » September 28th, 2013, 2:07 am

#8 Pre-Status Majors:When you first come to BYU you may be curious as to what students are studying, it is a university after all. However, there actually is no need to ask anyone their intended field, because the entire BYU population can be wrapped up into just a few majors: Pre-Med, Pre-Law, Pre-MBA, Pre-Dental, and elementary education. Not one of those (with the exception of the latter) is an actual major, but BYU kids tend to think otherwise. BYU does not offer a Pre-Med major, nor does any other university. There are majors that prep you for post-grad education, but those are usually along the lines of BioChemistry or Political Science. However, whenever you ask a student his or her major, they so often reply, “I’m Pre-Med” instead of Exercise Science or Chemistry.

I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to stand there in confusion wondering why in the world BYU would call a major strictly Pre-Med. BYU has its weaknesses, but allowing students to major in anything ‘pre’ isn’t one of them. Also, it might be beneficial for you to understand some of the reasoning behind this pseudo-major.

Possibility #1: The majority of BYU students actions are centered around getting a date and/or getting married (preferably in the same week). BYU girls are easily impressed by future potential success, success that will pay for them to live in Highland, the East Bench, or Southern California as soon as possible. Dating a young man that has intentions of going to Dental School allows them to fantasize of their future dream home. For some reason, the girls do not register the fact that the guy’s 2.4 GPA will probably not get him into Dental School, and even if it does he will be $200,000 in debt by the time he finishes. Young men have caught on to the fact that the ladies don’t see these downsides, so they use it as an easy way to catch a mate, or at least a NCMO.

Possibility #2: BYU students come from backgrounds where they are used to being the best, the academic elite, the kids with limitless potential. Often these BYU people are shocked when they come to BYU and realize that there are a 30,000 other kids just as successful as (if not more than) themselves. By informing everyone that they know that they are going to Medical School they feel like they are still keeping their head above the crowd. They are not just another Biology major or Chemistry nerd—they are going to be a doctor! Very often they fail to focus on the actual application part, and their pre-status never becomes status, but it gets them through college anyway.

Possibility #3: First impressions are tough. Considering that college students usually get asked their major before their name, word choice is critical.

Whatever the reason, it is safe to say that the pre-status majors are a result of the fragile confidence of so many in the BYU population. Try not to ridicule them openly when they inform you what they are ‘studying,’ but be charmed by their drive and ambition.

http://stuffbyupeoplelike.blogspot.com/ ... ajors.html



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by Socrates2121 » September 28th, 2013, 2:10 am

QuackAttackAggie wrote:Image


then there is this (from byu jc)
Image

and what the girl was wearing that was so disgustingly slutty

Image
My wife is actually really good friends with the girl who got the note. We feel so good to be closely connected to such epic BYU douchebaggery.


Bulls On Parade

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by QuackAttackAggie » September 28th, 2013, 2:33 am

Socrates2121 wrote:
QuackAttackAggie wrote:Image


then there is this (from byu jc)
Image

and what the girl was wearing that was so disgustingly slutty

Image
My wife is actually really good friends with the girl who got the note. We feel so good to be closely connected to such epic BYU douchebaggery.
So was it at byu or was it uvu? I thought it was byu but the comment on the photo said uvu.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by MetsJetsAggies » September 28th, 2013, 3:02 am

QuackAttackAggie wrote:
Socrates2121 wrote:
QuackAttackAggie wrote:Image


then there is this (from byu jc)
Image

and what the girl was wearing that was so disgustingly slutty

Image
My wife is actually really good friends with the girl who got the note. We feel so good to be closely connected to such epic BYU douchebaggery.
So was it at byu or was it uvu? I thought it was byu but the comment on the photo said uvu.
I think they meant it's nice to go to UVU sometimes because they don't have to deal with dweebs like the one that wrote that note



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by frogman812 » September 28th, 2013, 3:46 am

I love this parody video, especially when they "boot" the door at 12:01 a.m.

[youtube][/youtube]



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by Vegas Ute » September 28th, 2013, 7:57 am

[youtube][/youtube]



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by Empire of Dirt » September 28th, 2013, 8:29 am

Oldie but goodie.

May want to have a vomit receptacle ready.

[youtube][/youtube]


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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by AggiesForever » September 28th, 2013, 9:01 am

Andbody know what happened to the "100 Things To Do With A Cougar" from the old scout board. That's always fun to drag out this time of the year!



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by AGinNEIowa » September 28th, 2013, 10:00 am

AggiesForever wrote:Andbody know what happened to the "100 Things To Do With A Cougar" from the old scout board. That's always fun to drag out this time of the year!
Ask, and ye shall receive.

101 Uses for a dead Cougar
AGGIE Fans Everywhere wrote:What exactly DO you do with a dead cougar?

101. Skinned, they make darling tea cozies.

100. Better than Chamois for drying off your Lexus.

99. A tasty midnight snack: just make yourself a warm mug of ovaltine, cut yourself a slice of Cache Valley Cheese (Swiss is best), place between two slices of Dead Cougar, and relish the crunchy, nutty goodness.

98. Beer battered cougar

97. Stuffed cougar armoire

96. Cougar skin run

95. Cougar tooth to hang around Big Blue's neck.

94. It makes a silky-soft undergarment

93. Propped up in the garden it keeps birds and neighbor kids away

92. Stuff it with candy...add bat...instant Piñata!

91. Stuff it and mount it outside the Bishop's office and use it for a tithing drop

90. Place large pane of glass on top, add chips, drinks and feet...viola! Instant end table!

89. Prop up in open field, get your .22...target practice!

88. Drape over Cosmo in open field, get your .22...moving target practice!!!

87. His skin would make for a very luxurious and deluxe TP.

86. Great rug/mat for Aggie FB players to wipe their feet on after practice.

85. Anniversary Inn -- need I say more????

85. It would provide the first half of a winter coat for BYU's sweet spirited homecoming queen.

84. A great rug in Saddam's Shag-a-Delic Sex Palace.

83. Something for the kids in the taxidermy program at Bridgerland Vo-Tech to practice on

82. Jerky (made from real jerk!)

81. Furry slippers for Lavell

80. A Russian hat to keep Crowton's dome warm on a cold Laramie night

79. Maybe they could harvest the gonads and transplant them into Rafael Araujo

78. Wait, this is a Cougar...there wouldn't be any gonads...

77. Take a DNA sample to try to map the self-righteousness genome

76. Alpo

75. Use it as a missionary tool (I don't know how, but then I don't know how BYU athletics is supposed to be one, either...)

74. Extract dead cougar brain and transplant it in to this zoobie fans' head! (read link)
things a zoobie says for 200, Alex

73. Mystery meat at the Cougar Eat.

72. Fur collars and cuffs for your date's Dorm Formal.

71. New Curtains at Helaman Hall.

70. Slip covers on the couches at Amanda Knight Hall.

69. Oh boy.... use cougar for sex toy

68. Toupees for General authorities and ex football coaches.

67. Chest hair for Donny Osmond when performing shirtless

66. Chew toy for BYU dogs… I mean co-eds

65. Condoms for recently married to curb the growth of the zoobie population.

64. Fashion a crude bag from the skin and use for placing over the heads of BYU coeds.

63. Some nice furry socks so that no student ever need be reprimanded or expelled for not wearing any.

62. Essential to prove the theory of: "I could throw a dead cat and hit a whining/fair-weather/ignorant/obnoxious zoobie fan."

61. As an improvement to the existing Cosmo. (…any year)

60. Used as bait to "sting" happy valley deer poachers. (But officer, it *looked* like a deer in my spotlight from the back of my moving station-wagon...)

59. As a doormat for the Chapel of Love in Las Vegas

58. Use "cat gut" to re-string the racquets of USU Tennis Team.

57. Study the genetic make-up to cure all zoobies.

56. Duct tape dead (or any) cougar to the head of a falling "Bunker Buster" bomb...just for the hell of it!

55. Make into string puppet and crudely imitate Roger Reid's penguin step...on a small stage...in front of elementary children.

54. put on the end of a long string + strong winds = cougar kite.

53. Stick head of dead (or soon dead) cougar in liquid nitrogen and smash it with a hammer for the shock value to intimidate convicted juvenile delinquents into virtuous behavior.

52. Use as a receptacle for waste mercury (this one can double as an anchor when not in active use).

51. Hood ornament once the shuttle fleet gets off the ground again.

50. A model for medical students to practice rectal exams on (actually there would be better sphincter tone if the cougar were NOT dead...OR use said sphincter to produce artificial diamonds)

49. Dead cougar = next TV spokesperson craze for a low budget car insurance company. (Used much in the way of Toonces the Driving Cat, except these would only be "after" photos of wreckage intermingled with cougar innards and the web address of the company. Watch out AFLAC duck!)

48. Next ground war in Middle East vs. possible chemical weapon attack: cram cougar into birdcage and duct tape onto top of tank. If the cougar gets rigor mortis, better keep your gas mask on.

47. Cut cougar into convenient soft strips and place in front of keyboard to prevent Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

46. Fill Rice Stadium seats with cougar corpses to increase the announced attendance numbers at Utah football games. (Did someone already think of this...it sounds familiar?)

45. Young Frankenstein II. "Did you get the brain?" "Um, well...I got...A brain..."

44. Dead cougar cheaper than foam peanuts for wrapping expensive stereo equipment before mailing.

43. Prop up dead cougar in passenger seat so you can drive in the "diamond" lane during rush hour.

42. Dead cougar spleen is a delicacy in Uganda, so I hear.

41. Dead cougar makes a credible Iraqi Minister of Information.

40. Lay that cougar hide over the altar for those soon-to-be annulled Vegas weekend zoobie weddings.

39. Cut fur into neat squares to use as hankies for uncontrollably sobbing zoobie fans the next time Texas A&M, UCLA or Hawaii hang 70 on them. (Only Hawaii got to 70, but the hankies were desperately needed for many, many games.)

38. Cougar knucklebones are great for reading the fortunes of BYU grads. "In 5 years you will be fat, balding and your family will have already outgrown your current minivan." (A very common reading, so I hear.)

37. That already hollow Cougar skull makes a great container for church treats for the kids.

36. If you have your scriptures bound in Cougar hide, do they instantly lose credibility? ...I better check that one out.

35. BYU diplomas could all be printed on Cougar skin. After all, they need *something* to make a degree from there look good.

34. Cougar scrotum outpacing kangaroo scrotum as change purse. But wait! Stroke it three times and it turns into a handbag.

33. Cougar tail excellent replacement for towel in locker room whipping incidents.

32. Use hide as seat cover for those long desert trips. Especially helpful to keep GBH comfy on long trips around Utah visiting the faithful!

31. Replace foam rubber beer can holders that keep your hands from getting cold with similar implement made from Cosmo (good only for Utah 3.2 beer, however)

30. Dried cougar nuts make excellent non-destructive attention getters when thrown at your girlfriend's window at the Chi Omega sorority house.

29. Comb cougar fur in such a way as to make picture resembling 'velvet' Joseph Smith.

28. Males at BYU could use the head as a mask to try and improve chances of getting ladies.

27. You have heard of the brown bag date and a double brown bag date, introducing the cougar head date!

26. Footballs played with in LaVell Edwards Cougar Stadium could be made from cougar hide, therefore, since they are nearly celestialized already, give them more "lift" when thrown or kicked, and the fur would be gentle on the Zoobies hands.

25. The hides and fur could be used to make goofy looking beanies with a "Y" on them that the dignitaries selected to "Light The Y" could wear, in honor of Cosmo.

24. Cougar urine could be sprayed on both goal posts to "mark" BYU's scoring territory, thus frightening away Rams, Falcons, Lobo's, or any other type of animal that might want to score there. Of course, rubber gloves would have to be issued to all players in the red zone.

23. The BYU President could put the hollow Cougar head on and dance around "menacingly" in front of the opposing teams bench before kickoff or tip-off.

22. Dead cougar can serve as official at all stench home games since there are so many “no-calls” in their favor.

21. Dead cougar can continue service as stench athletic honor code monitor.

20. Dead cougar can serve as a reminder of the Roger Reid years. We love you Roger, please come back with the grandkids.

19. Cover beehive boot with cougar skin

18. Cover byu-USU wagon wheel with cougar skin

17. Cougar skin belt to hold up Big Blue’s non-existent pants.

16. Use 11 dead cougars on the USU FB scout team to simulate actual BYU defense.

15. Replace "Green Iguana" chant and rubber Iguana with, "Dead Cougar" while swinging bloody carcass overhead.

14. "Who Want's To Marry A Dead Cougar" TV show with 100 BYU coeds and said corpse. Revenue generated from advertising on the smash-hit show could be donated to the BYU athletic dept.

13. Used for costumes by the USU Theater Dept. for their debut of "Cats".

12. Record the sound of dead cougar getting run over by steamroller. Replace that for the current ridiculous cougar growl that someone once thought was cool to play on the PA system during Y home games.

11. Place dead cougars (feet up) and warning signs at key points around Utah Lake to remind residents of the dangers of coming into contact with Utah Lake water.

10. Use mechanical dead cougar for buckaroo antics at the local BYU hangouts. Free Kool-Aid with each successful ride!

9. Use decomposing cougar to feed Big Blue's earthworm farm.

8. Use said cougar-fed worms to fish for scary things in Utah Lake.

7. Cougar tortillas?

6. String it up between "the Hands" artwork in front of fountains at the TSC.

5. Cushion to take to FB games.

4. Use as a hand puppet along with a stuffed bull in the sunbeams class to teach the young'ns how to get a real education.

3. Send carcasses to the likes of Ty Detmer, Luke Staley and soon to be Reno Mahe, and other members of the "Thought we were good until we found out we sucked in the NFL" club.

2. Wrap the furry skin around a byu co-eds body to eliminate any risk of fungal contamination when touching.


1. Brand the numerals "1984" on his little forehead, lest we forget, lest we forget.



Honorable Late Entries:

a. Fill the eye sockets with steelies to give ol' Cosmo the Wyatt Earp look. He's never looked tougher!

b. Have your kids grab the forepaws, then swing it by the tail around your head . . . hours of fun for the little ones!



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by hipsterdoofus21 » September 28th, 2013, 11:28 am

I don‘t always use the term douchebag, but when I do it‘s for JD Falslev.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by troll » September 28th, 2013, 2:58 pm


the herd is going to let byu know who the aggies are.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by bluegrouse » September 28th, 2013, 5:17 pm

dyedblue wrote:Rise Up - is that a football slogan or drug promo?
I think that slogan is precisely what got Hadley and Hoffman in trouble. . .trying to live the letter of the law.



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by Servo » September 28th, 2013, 7:56 pm

Independence = nobody wants you

Independence = playing with yourself

Be nice and we MIGHT let you back in the conference

BYU--perennial preseason national champions/Heisman trophy candidates.

Spirit-Honor-Integrity-Tradition

Orthodox Jews wouldn't be allowed at BYU. The honor code contradicts scripture (Lev 19:27)
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I'm not biased. I mock everybody.

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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by superaggie » September 28th, 2013, 9:05 pm

What is the top lie told at byu?


I am a virgin. :lol:



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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by TheAKAggie » September 28th, 2013, 10:37 pm

superaggie wrote:What is the top lie told at byu?


I am a virgin. :lol:
"This is my first time."


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Re: NOW let's have some fun at BYU's expense

Post by AggieFirefighter » September 28th, 2013, 11:46 pm

TheAKAggie wrote:
superaggie wrote:What is the top lie told at byu?


I am a virgin. :lol:
"This is my first time."
'It's not sex if it's not moving, Oh and I just went swimming, Its not usually that small'


"Primum Non Nocere" - "First, Do No Harm"

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