So the other day my son (he's 12) was playing a flag football game. His team isn't very good. There are two really good athletes, 2 okay guys, and the rest are kids just trying to get outside and have some fun. Because of COVID there are only four teams in the league - the other three teams are comprised of the skill players from tackle-football teams who use the rec flag league as one of their practices. My sons team has yet to win a game. My son plays a bit of everything - his small (he plays up a grade in flag), but he's very fast, aggressive, and wants to win.

Anyway, the coach of the opposing team was a Jerk. Yelling at the refs, and his team - even though his team was up two touchdowns. Toward the end of the game my son had tight coverage on a WR who caught the ball to convert the extra point. After defending my son was on the ground (dove for a deflection but missed) and went to hop up fast just as the WR ran by. The coach of the opposing team thought my son was trying to trip the WR, got in my son's face and yelled at him. I was very angry. I told the coach very strongly he was free to yell at his team all he wants, but he was NOT to talk to my kid. Sometimes I feel badly after I get angry like this, but this was one I still feel good about. I didn't curse, or threaten, just made it clear that wasn't okay.

My question is this, have you ever been the angry sports dad? Any regrets, jail time? I'd like to hear the story. Something that might entertain in this wasteland of sports we live in these days.

You are not alone

I have never been "that guy". I typically try to work through the scenario with my kids. I tell them it should be a lesson to them to never act like that. I'm very competitive, but I have learned how to compete on the field.

Went to oldest grandson's flag game in Layton last fall. Kindergartners. He had a teammate. Cute little guy. By little I mean absolutely monstrous huge for his age. Mom and dad also huge, so no surprise there. Black folks. Folks as nice as you ever saw.

With that huge body, and a kindergartner's level of control, you can imagine his difficulty negotiating the arcane flag rules. The refs were all over him. Opposing team parents and coaches in one game were constantly screaming at him over every error he made. Poor kid was constantly in tears.

I hollered finally, "Come on, people, really? The kid's a kindergartner, for heaven's sake."

They didn't care.

Took a lot of coaxing and petting to convince the poor kid to keep playing. A very kind ref had a talk with him after the game, reminding him that the rules now won't be the rules then, and one day he'll be an amazing player in high school and college. So hang in there. He did, thankfully, hang in there and ultimately started to get the hang of it.

Broke my heart seeing that sweet little guy tortured by monstrous unkindness of people who should know better.

USU78 wrote: ↑

September 9th, 2020, 8:23 am

Went to oldest grandson's flag game in Layton last fall. Kindergartners. He had a teammate. Cute little guy. By little I mean absolutely monstrous huge for his age. Mom and dad also huge, so no surprise there. Black folks. Folks as nice as you ever saw.

With that huge body, and a kindergartner's level of control, you can imagine his difficulty negotiating the arcane flag rules. The refs were all over him. Opposing team parents and coaches in one game were constantly screaming at him over every error he made. Poor kid was constantly in tears.

I hollered finally, "Come on, people, really? The kid's a kindergartner, for heaven's sake."

They didn't care.

Took a lot of coaxing and petting to convince the poor kid to keep playing. A very kind ref had a talk with him after the game, reminding him that the rules now won't be the rules then, and one day he'll be an amazing player in high school and college. So hang in there. He did, thankfully, hang in there and ultimately started to get the hang of it.

Broke my heart seeing that sweet little guy tortured by monstrous unkindness of people who should know better.

Stories like this are one reason I'm glad my kids have taken more to individual sports, such as swimming and tennis. They are still part of a team and all but it is much more of an individual effort and less of other parents yelling and screaming at other players or how the ref is wrong.

One instance where I had a parent yell at me playing was during church ball. I could out jump nearly everyone else and usually played the center position because of that. I also usually had 8-10 blocks per game until they realized I could swat a lot of their shots away. I was called for a foul once and told the ref I didn't touch the other player. A parent on the stage began yelling at me so I turned to the parent and calmly told the parent I was just out there having fun and to chill out. Never heard another word from that parent again, or I just tuned her out the rest of the game. Looking back, I should have tried to block a shot into the parent that was mouthing off. At least then she would have had a reason to mouth off at me.

When I first started out with my kids playing sports, I was the silent dad who never raised his voice. Then Jr. II came along and is extremely competitive, and thus ends up on all the good teams with a lot more at stake, the more vocal I became. This year so far, I'm getting a break from organized sports. I've started taking the kids to the driving range, maybe we'll pick up golf? I love a sport that I can order a Bloody Marry while playing

Guys like that coach are total jerks and ruin the game for the kids. Don’t feel bad at all Brownjeans,it is good to support your kid.

I was reffing a junior high game and this guy was so crazy, that I had to ask the coach of that team to have him removed. After the game this lady came up and apologized for his behavior and informed me he was her pastor.
rr.

I've been tempted to show up to one of this coach's other games and criticize him the entire game. Basically do the same to him that he does to the refs and kids on the field. "Terrible play call coach!" "Stop yelling at the kids coach." "You gotta do better than this coach!"
But it seems like an unnecessary escalation.

brownjeans wrote: ↑

September 13th, 2020, 1:10 pm

I've been tempted to show up to one of this coach's other games and criticize him the entire game. Basically do the same to him that he does to the refs and kids on the field. "Terrible play call coach!" "Stop yelling at the kids coach." "You gotta do better than this coach!"
But it seems like an unnecessary escalation.

So get that.

As a person who has refereed soccer for almost 6 years now. I can say I have tossed my fair share of coaches and parents for threatening/intimidating or verbally abusing referees or players, and have so pretty crazy stories too.
When this kind of thing happens I just feel bad for the kid that has to be so incredibly embarrassed of what they're parents are doing. I personally don't put up with parents or coaches trying to intimidate or demean kids on the opposing team while refereeing, and I will not even hesitate to toss a coach or parent out of the game for it.
I've had games where parents make the game so intense and are on top of the officiating crew that players on the field have apologized to us during the game for what is being said to us on the sidelines.
Theres just honestly no place for that in youth sports and it makes me sad to hear that this type of crap happens.

Been there and done that. I've had regretful moments. In the end, those times when I thought I was protecting my kid, I was really embarrassing him and myself.

GameFAQSAggie wrote: ↑

September 12th, 2020, 7:15 pm

A guy I work with whose kid plays for the Sky View 8th grade team told me his son's team would be disqualified if the parents yelled at the refs.

Are you talking about Derrick?