I'll go first. If I were as bad at my job as Joe Cauthen, I'd accidentally issue passports to terrorists and instead of evacuating injured Americans to US hospitals, I'd send them to Guam.


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If I were as bad as Joe Cauthen, I would disclose all my clients’ pre-existing conditions, admit that 90% of them are malingers, and settle zero cases.

Alot of head-on traffic collisions.

I'd be fired for re-identifying deidentified medical research data and releasing it publicly.

A lot of people without power.

I wouldve been given several performance improvement plans, then encouraged to find a job elsewhere before we fire you

I would have zero percent market share and there would be a lot of recurrent laryngeal nerve injuries.

Patient gets a knee replacement when their hip hurt.....or someone dies.

The navy would fail audits…..


Wait….. shiii…..ammmm iiiii


I guess the progress on remediation efforts related to our disclaimers (failed audit) would be regressing instead of progressing…

Miners would get buried under collapsed highwalls

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Medical device companies would be allowed to sell product that is dangerous enough to kill or severely injure people while medical device companies become more profitable. The general safety of each medical device would be less discernable.

I would make something like “Cats”

At my old job... I would have done as well as most people working there.... and the Securities and Exchange Commission would have operated exactly as it currently does.


At my new job, I would plagiarize multiple papers, and maybe one day become the president of a major university.

For better or worse, at my job, one can be pretty incompetent for a long time without anyone noticing. Although at some point, someone would like at my code and think, "Wow. This guy is an idiot."

As a trader, I'd be broke and living under a bridge.

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LarryTheAggie wrote: ↑

December 23rd, 2023, 6:15 pm

At my old job... I would have done a well as most people working there.... and the Securities and Exchange Commission would have operated exactly as it currently does.


At my new job, I would plagiarize multiple papers, and maybe one day become the president of a major university.

... or a country

If joeaggie, aggies22's dad, was as bad at his job at Cauthen, people who live outside of the valley would have never been able to make it the basketball games when it snowed in the winter. Or driving through Sardine Canyon would have take 2 or 3 hours just get through the canyon if people even make it through the canyon!

Language warning but petty funny Tosh standup clip on being bad at jobs

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/c9KL_HsNVcc

One summer, I had a job where alot of people would have loved for me to be as bad at as Joe Cauthen. People NOT staying at a resort would have loved being able to swim in the pool like they weren't supposed to.

I helped move cabinets and dressers into Canyon Crest Suites which some of you have sent your kids to live in. You would be getting calls from your kids telling you how badly damages the furniture in their dorm was if I was as bad at that job as Cauthen.

I also helped put in the club seats at the stadium. There actually would have been threads in 2016 about how poorly those seats were installed if I was as bad at that as Cauthen.

Imagine a senior assisted living facility where the residents pay for the highest level of care and don't get it like expected. They fall down and don't have anyone come help them. That's a world where aggies22's wife does her job as bad as Cauthen!

People not getting their mail and the schools being dirty if the two guys I texted during the game did their job like Cauthen.

I'd be on USU fans all day rather than working...

flying_scotsman2.0 wrote: ↑

December 23rd, 2023, 9:56 pm

I'd be on USU fans all day rather than working...

flying_scotsman2.0 wrote: ↑

December 23rd, 2023, 9:56 pm

I'd be on USU fans all day rather than working...

That’s pretty much what I do.

I work for the government, so... not much would change, really.

I guess I'd get sick from eating candy and spinning around in my office chair while all my clients failed miserably at the program applications they have to fill out all by themselves.

A lot of people would be out of a job if I was as bad as Joe

All the nuclear reactors in the Navy would break down because I would tell everyone that the root causes of their problems are all due to engineering writing bad instructions.

A murder-suicide on campus. Twice.

If I was as bad as Joe, sheetrock would be installed on the exterior of the building.

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My kids wouldn’t have Christmas and I would be out of work.

And @hoot I thought the play was fine. You must be referring to the worst career decision by Halle Berry

If I had preformed as poorly as he has over the last year I would have neither my current job, nor the one I started the year with.

Considering that I have a government job, I would probably get promoted and be making way more money if I were that bad at my job

crazywookie wrote: ↑

December 24th, 2023, 12:29 pm

My kids wouldn’t have Christmas and I would be out of work.

And @hoot I thought the play was fine. You must be referring to the worst career decision by Halle Berry

I was thinking of the CGI James Corden debacle from a few years ago but the Halle Berry one works too.

I work in government so just like Joe Cauthen and Joe Barry, I'll have a job the next day.